In my dreams I’m blasting across Europe on one of them new VFR800Fs. Matching luggage, heated grips, all the bells and whistles. These are unclean, unfaithful thoughts, and the Slippery Bandit (oil leak) knows I’m having them. She trundles on faithfully nonetheless.

The plan was simple. The three of us would jump on the bikes head to Whitby, pitch tents and have a few days on the lash. Live it large, like young men are supposed to do. What could possibly go wrong? Our assorted rides for one thing.

I've been a lucky bugger as far as bikes are concerned. My biker’s brag list includes New Zealand, Australia, Assen TT, Andalucía (off-road), Lake District, Turkey, Norway, and Vietnam. So when I tell you that easily the best biking day ever was on a Chinese skinny-tyred flatulent step thru, you can maybe appreciate this had to be something special.